Total Drama All-Stars: REDUX
by SEGASister
Summary: During Chris' time in prison a new host has taken over the second half of Season Four. Now it's his time to take back what's his, recruiting twenty four contestants from seasons past in one epic All-Stars Season! Co-written with corbinace
1. Brains vs Brawn vs Beauty

It wasn't Chef Hatchet's first time in a prison. And with his luck, it wouldn't be the last. He followed the warden down a hall with many prisoners looking onward. Cries of, "I'm innocent!" rang in the ears of both men. Hatchet even caught one of them giving him bedroom eyes. He wasn't interested. What he was interested in was the prisoner that sat in the very last cell; Maximum Security was holding someone rather… special.

"And the Crusty Cockroaches have a huge lead over the Soiled Stinkbugs! Lightning slips past Owen, and the heat is on! Yeah, look at that! That's what I'm talking about!" yelled its holder, as well as acquaintance to the war veteran. There sat a man half his age watching as a cockroach and a stinkbug have a "race" on his bed. The warden cleared his throat, snapping the young man out of his trance and getting his attention. He delivered a look of scorn towards the other man twice his age.

"Well, look who finally came to visit me after a whole year," he said. "Cram it, McLean!" demanded the warden as he unlocked his cell. "C'mon. You've finished your sentence for dumping toxic waste," Chef informed him. But McLean wasn't going anywhere. He just sat on his bed.

"Whatever," he said. "I think I'll stay right here; got everything I need, including Chef 2.0! I made him from a cashew," he continued, taking out, indeed, a small cashew that held a striking resemblance to his partner in crime. Yep, prison did not treat him well. If his mental state wasn't as visible, his appearance would have you assuming the same thing. His hair was disheveled, his five o'clock shadow was replaced with a neckbeard, and he had a glazed look in his eyes. Chef then handed the younger a manilla folder.

"The producers greenlit another season… with a new host," Chef began. "I was replaced?!" McLean shouted. "Higher ups thought to continue on without you due to your… situation," Hatchet continued. "But he was recently called in to do another show, so he quit. We need you back, Chris," he finished.

Chris then took the folder and opened it, reading its contents: plans for one grand reunion season: contestants from seasons past, rookies and veterans, all on the island where it all began three years ago, and with the host who started it all. He then grew a sadistic grin on his face. "It is on!" he proclaimed! And with that, he and Chef Hatchet made it out of his cell, and the prison, and on their way to one more season of _Total Drama_...

* * *

Camp Wawanakwa has officially been restored to its original glory: no more radiation or toxicity in the air, the water, the wildlife, et cetera. The buildings have been rebuilt in stellar condition, the bonfire area was more grandiose, even the dock, which was more sturdy and less rickety, was decorated to commemorate a grand reopening. There Chris stood, makeup and hair done for the first time since becoming incarcerated. Yep; he looked like his old self, perfectly camera ready.

"Welcome to the biggest season of _Total Drama_ yet! After my year long… ahem… 'vacation', I really needed to be in a familiar environment, surrounded by the people I love… to hurt," he began, laughing maniacally. "I can't actually hurt them, though. It's a condition of my parole," he then confessed, frowning. "That replacement of mine didn't seem to get what the series was about, so I'm back with twenty-four _Total Drama_ contestants from seasons past to battle it out in the most dangerous, death-defying one **billion** dollar competition ever!" he announced. Wind suddenly began to pick up from around him. Looking up, he sees a helicopter hovering over the dock, a rope ladder unfurling from it, landing next to Chris. "And here they are now!

"Now then, these first six I barely have any knowledge, so I'm just gonna read these cue cards they left for me, starting with zombie apocalypse expert, Shawn," As Shawn made his way down the rope ladder, Chris pondered to himself what exactly someone in Shawn's field was. He certainly gained a chuckle after the dude got his foot stuck in one of the rungs and slipped. Luckily, for the contestant, he didn't land on his cranium. That chuckle turned into a grumble when no additional harm came to him.

"Hey, where's Don?" he asked. "Hosting another show. Money's on it failing before the pilot even airs," Chris answered, smirking to himself as Shawn made his way down the dock to the benches.

"Australian survival expert, Jasmine," he read next, less confused than before. What did confuse him was the fact that the girl, Jasmine, was much taller than him. Heck, he assumed that she was taller than Chef even. "You're tall," he said. "And you're much shorter in real life," she responded, making her way down to meet up with her boyfriend.

"Chris McLean's biggest fan, Topher. Hello…!" he said as he saw a young man wearing Chris' attire slide down the rope ladder, landing perfectly on his feet. "Nice to finally meet you, Chris! Glad to be competing for a competent host for a change!" the younger complimented. "And I am officially flattered," declared the host.

"Canada's top cheerleader, Amy," he read next as the blonde girl in uniform did a somersault out of the plane and landed perfectly on the dock. Sure, her ankles hurt from that stunt, but it was worth impressing the host. "Ehh… eight," Chris judged as he earned a scowl from the blonde.

"Going to take over the world tomorrow, Max?" he questioned as he read this next cue card as thunder booms and maniacal laughter is heard. He then turned to see the short, purple-haired teen, chuckling afterward. "How cute," he snarked. "I am not cute! I helped take over Pahkitew Island last season! And I would've gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for that Scarlett…!" he declared, gritting the name of his former "sidekick" through his teeth. Max then joined his former castmates.

"And finally, Sammy, not Samey. Everyone calls me Samey. Please don't call me Samey. It is Sammy," he read quizzically as he saw… Amy descend from the helicopter again? Wait, this one's missing her mole. "Ahh… Samey," he greeted, earning a groan from the girl. "Didn't you read what I wrote you?" she asked. "Of course I did, Samey," he answered, simply to annoy the identical girl. She soon made her way to her former castmates as Chris began to introduce the next set of contestants.

"Next, some slightly familiar faces. From _Revenge of the Island_ , say hello to newly rehabilitated Dakota," the host began as his former intern made her way down the ladder, green still in her blonde hair, but nonetheless back to her old self. She kept blowing kisses at the camera with her free hand every few steps before finally standing next to Chris. Shoving her aside and into the water, Chris went on to introduce the next contestant.

"Challenge-throwing dirt farmer, Scott." The dirt farmer came out and saw Dakota's shadow in the water, but mistook it for someone else. "Uhh, that's not Fang, is it?" he asked. After not moving for a few seconds, an impatient Chef Hatchet shoves him out of the helicopter and Scott lands on the dock. "Who apparently still has mutant shark-ophobia," Chris added as Scott groaned in pain.

"Aura reading beetle whisperer, Dawn." The smaller girl made her way down the ladder, or rather floated down. "How does she do that?" he wondered to himself. She set herself down next to Scott, helping the boy up. Dakota finally resurfaced, spitting water out of her mouth and climbing back onto the dock. "You are paying for my dry cleaning!" she yelled as she walked off and towards the benches, joining Scott and Dawn. "Unfortunately, thanks to her father suing me, I am. It's another condition of my parole," Chris confirmed.

"Private Pants-Wetter, Brick." When Brick made it down to the dock, he gave an obedient salute to Chris and shouted, "Private Brick MacArthur reporting for duty, Sir!" Chris just patted him on the shoulder. "At ease, soldier… for now," he said as Brick joined the rest of the contestants thus far.

"Body Bruiser, Jo." As Jo climbed down the rope ladder, she shouted down, "You're a dead man, McLean! And so are the other contestants if they hold me back or get in my way!" sending death glares at the contestants down at the dock thus far, a few of them even cowering behind others.

"And Silent B!" B just walks past Chris without a word. "C'mon man. Can't you say something at least once?" Chris asked. B was about to answer when a blast of a ship's horn was heard, cutting him off. Chef Hatchet flew the helicopter off as the yacht pulled up next to the dock. Clearly, there were more contestants that could not fit into the copter.

"And now, you've begged for these men and women to compete in one more season! Your wish is my command!" he announced. "From the original _Total Drama Island_ , we have Know-It-All CIT, Courtney." The CIT was the first to exit from the boat, sending a glare at Chris. "You're just lucky that you got a good defense team. Otherwise, you'd still be in prison," she told him. "Could've asked you to defend me, Court, but I had a feeling you'd turn me down," he replied as Courtney made her way down to the rest of the contestants.

"Next up, Courtney's former broody beau, Duncan." Duncan just exited not bothering to look at the host who has given him, as well as his ladies, hell on the show. "Nice to see you too…" Chris groaned as Duncan ignored him. Duncan gave a passing glance at Courtney, who just turned away.

"Courtney's former bestie-turned-boyfriend stealer, Gwen." An audible growl came from the yacht as Gwen made her way down. "Can't you just let it go?!" she asked as she found herself standing next to Chris once more. "I could, but it's just too much fun to harp on it!" Chris declared as Gwen joined her boyfriend and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, earning a scowl from the scorned ex.

"Ladies-Man Wannabe, Cody." Cody walked down cautiously in case an obsessive stalker by the name of Sierra was hiding somewhere waiting to ambush him. "Please tell me Sierra isn't here. Her stalking has gotten a lot worse to the point where she's watching me take a shower," he begged. Since Chris didn't confirm or deny Sierra's presence, Cody continued to worry.

"Actual Ladies-Man, Justin." As Justin walked down to the dock, most of the female contestants began staring at him in admiration. "Thanks for allowing me back, Chris. It'd be a crime to not allow the world to witness this!" he said as he took his shirt off, revealing his twelve-pack and causing girls to faint. He then went off to join them.

"Devious Diva, Heather." Immediately, Chris was met with a kick to the shin. "My time here had BETTER not be wasted!" she yelled, still upset that she lost her million two years ago. Chris continued to hop as Heather walked off and he greeted the next, more friendly contestant.

"Lovable Light of our Lives, Lindsay." Lindsay walked down as cheery as she usually was and gave Chris a friendly hug. "Hey, Kyle. It's good to be back." Chris knew by now that it was impossible for Lindsay to ever remember most names correctly, so he didn't bother to correct her and continued to introduce the rest of the contestants.

"Mr. Participation Award, Tyler." As he walked down, Tyler was doing a few tricks with his yo-yo, but unsurprisingly ended up getting tangled in the string and trip on the dock. Lindsay immediately went over to her accident-prone boyfriend and helped untangle him. "Thanks, babe," he thanked and the two immediately shared a kiss. "Ahem, save the PDA for later, will you?" Chris asked as the two simply headed off to make out and embrace somewhere else. Sighing, Chris moved on.

"Girl with 'Tude, LeShawna," Chris introduced. "Hey, what's up y'all! LeShawna's back in action!" she greeted in excitement as she made her way down to the dock. Gwen immediately welcomed her friend's presence and hugged her. "Missed you too, girl," the sister said, smile on her face.

"Man with Mad Skillz, Harold." Harold was going to say something, but stopped when he saw Duncan cracking his knuckles with an evil grin on his face. Remembering Duncan's constant bullying and the underwear incidents back in season one, Harold gulped and simply walked to the other side of the crowd of contestants.

"Our resident insane lady, Izzy." A loud and crazy laugh was heard from above. Everyone looked up and saw Izzy leaping off from the top of the yacht and land on the dock. Once again, however, she missed, and landed on Chris, rather than in the water like her last failed attempt. "WHOO! Ten points!" she cheered as she got off of him and ran to the other contestants. Chris, still in pain, was able to get up and continue with the show.

"And finally, Feral Freakshow, Ezekiel!" he announced as Ezekiel ran down towards the dock, hooting like a savage. Suddenly, Chef returns with the copter, sending down a plunger which immediately connects with the boy's head. "Hahaha! Kidding! No way we were actually letting him come back!" Chris laughed as Chef reeled Ezekiel into the copter and flew off.

"No, our actual twenty-fourth contestant is… on his way." Chris announced. "So, welcome, campers, to our biggest season of _Total Drama_ yet! Please, settle down, mingle while I find out what's taking him so long." Chris then headed off to his cozy cottage while the twenty-three contestants got together, meeting one another and reminiscing.

Courtney walked up to Duncan and Gwen with a harsh glare. "Listen up, traitors!" she shouted before being interrupted by Gwen. "No, you listen! I thought you and Duncan were officially over when I kissed him and wasn't I punished enough already?! I got eliminated because I got ill in a tiebreaker with you, lost a million dollar prize, got stranded in the middle of the Australian Outback, and got attacked by a kangaroo! And despite all that, you still continue to torment me! Can't you just let it go already?!" Gwen asked angrily.

"I'll let it go once you decide to apologize." Courtney argued. Duncan, in spite of wanting a cat fight between the two, came in between them before one could start. "Okay, Gwen has NOTHING to apologize for! I… I mean we weren't even a thing at the time!" Duncan shouted in defense. "You really think I would've been this angry if you and I weren't together at the time?" Courtney asked. "Besides, I'm over you. I should've seen it coming sooner or later, but I didn't. But Gwen, I thought we were friends!" Courtney then sighed. "If anything, I hope Duncan treats you better than how he treated me," she said as she walked away.

* * *

 **Courtney** : Am I still upset that Gwen stole my boyfriend? Yes. Do I miss Duncan? Heck no! In fact, I kinda miss Gwen more… Maybe if she wasn't being so hostile every time I approach her, I'd listen to what she'd have to say.

 **Gwen** : I know what I did was wrong, but I can't apologize until Courtney stops harassing us! I mean, I want to, but I want to do it when she's calmed down and not ready to tear my face off at the first opportunity… that's pretty much my only reason coming here, to make things right with Courtney, because honestly, I miss her. I miss what we had together before Duncan came in and ruined everything.

 **Duncan** : Me treat Gwen better than I treated Courtney?! Nononono. You got that backwards! Gwen's definitely treating me better than you ever could have! But to be frank, it's gotten… boring with Gwen; hearing her constantly whinge about wanting to make things right with her after all of the crap she pulled. I say forget her… Forget Courtney, not Gwen.

* * *

Lindsay immediately pulled the CIT into her embrace. "Aww~! You're fighting like old time sake!" she squealed. "Well, we won't be having any more of that," Courtney replied, dismissing the friendly blonde. "This year, I'm putting my all into the competition! No more friends or romances for this girl!" Courtney declared, and Lindsay just blinked. "You know, you could stand to be a bit nicer…" Lindsay admitted. Lindsay wanted to like and be friends with everyone, and right now, Courtney needed one, but made it clear she didn't want one. Lindsay saw that she wanted to be alone instead, so she left her alone and went back with Tyler.

Meanwhile, the twins were bickering as they always did on a daily basis. "You might as well give up now before you make a fool of yourself and screw everything up for your future teammates!" Amy yelled. Sammy growled in response. "Oh, I'm going to screw up?! If you recall correctly, all you did last season is treat me like scum, take credit for my accomplishments, use me as a human shield in challenges, and make me a scapegoat for our team's losses!" Sammy counterattacked. Amy just rolled her eyes and said, "Whatever. I'll just do all that again this season. I will always be able to manipulate the other contestants into believing I'm the superior one. And there's nothing you can do about it."

Sammy just sighed. "I guess you're right," she confessed. "I might as well give up. You win." Amy just blinked in surprise. But, instead of suspecting anything, Amy just smiled, thinking her "inferior" sister finally learned her place in life. "I'm so glad you're finally seeing things my way!" she exclaimed, right before Jasmine decided to intervene. "You better watch that attitude of yours. If the first and second generation contestants watched our season, they will never believe your lies. Now Sammy, we need to talk," Jasmine says as she dragged Sammy away.

"Sammy, what gives? Why did you just tell that tyrant that you can't beat her? I thought you knew better by now," Jasmine said right when she and Sammy were out of Amy's hearing range. "I was only playing her to shut her up. Besides, I have a foolproof plan to show the others that I'm not the bad twin whether they watched last season or not," Sammy assured. Jasmine just blinked. "Okay then…" She wasn't exactly sure what her smaller friend had planned, but if she wanted to keep it a secret, she respects the cheerleader's wishes.

* * *

 **Sammy** : I've come up with something that will make it much harder for my sister to take credit for my accomplishments. [removes the top of her uniform to reveal wearing a blue one underneath] I bought this shirt behind her back before we left for this season. Whenever our teammates see the twin in blue help out, there is no way they can mistake me for her.

* * *

Elsewhere, more of the castmates were reconnecting… somewhat. Brick and Jo have already begun a race around the island to catch up on old times, which left the others a chance to sit and talk. "You sure Fang's not around? You sure he's not hiding around somewhere?" Scott asked, terrified. Cody sighed in agreement. "I'm with you. Sierra's started acting… obsessive again," he confessed. Scott glared at him and said, "Imbecile. You should consider yourself lucky that your problem is just an obsessive stalker. That's nothing compared to being on the top of the menu for a mutated land shark. I can end up becoming Scott nuggets at any moment."

"At least neither of you had to go through MONTHS of radiation treatment," Dakota complained, still bitter from becoming Dakotazoid. "Why are you back here, then?" Cody asked. "If Chris left you exposed to… that?" Dakota just rolled her eyes. "Why are any of us back here? Hmm?" Most of them still remember the bad memories of competing on this show, so that question does make sense. For some, they just wanted another shot at the money. For others, such as the Pahkitew cast, they suspected Don would be hosting again. For a select few, their reasons were different.

Reasons that will be tended to later, as an air horn blasts in the ears of the twenty-three hopefuls as Chris returns… with the Drama Machine from Celebrity Manhunt? "Contestants, time for your first challenge!" Chris announced. "Uhh, but we don't even have teams yet," Shawn pointed out. "Is the challenge going to determine teams again?" asked Dawn. "Nope. I've decided this time to assign your teams based on what you're most remembered for in seasons past: Brains, Brawn, or Beauty," Chris answered, leaving the contestants puzzled.

"First off, I need Gwen, Heather, Harold, Max, Dawn, B, Cody, and Izzy." Those eight contestants all grouped up together, Gwen having to be dragged over there by the robot. "You guys are the Brainiac Buzzards!" he announced as he tossed the goth girl an orange banner with the logo of a brain with a pair of sharp wings.

* * *

 **Gwen** : Guess Duncan and I won't be on the same team. Too bad, though, he was smart enough to evade the police for the entire first half of _World Tour_.

 **Heather** : Chris must've taken notice of my strategic gift and placed me with those who could only hope to be like me. I got this game in the bag, especially since that Al guy isn't here… I wonder what happened to him, anyway? Not like I care.

 **Dawn** : I'm so relieved that I'm not on the same team as Scott. I don't have to worry about him framing me for theft again or throwing challenges for my team.

* * *

"Next up, Jasmine, LeShawna, Duncan, Brick, Jo, Scott, Shawn, and Tyler." Duncan still remained close-ish to Gwen as the rest of his teammates gathered around him, and was tossed a green banner with a logo representing a pair of muscles, one on each side of a buffalo. "You guys are the Brawny Buffalos!"

* * *

 **Jo** : Brawny Buffalos? I like that. They're tough enough cripple a full-sized human for life. Just like me.

 **Shawn** : Hmm. I guess it's a relief that I'm on a team with tough people. They'll come in handy to fend off any zombie attacks if that happens.

 **Jasmine** : Admittedly, it is a shame that I can't help Sammy with her Amy problem if her plan, whatever it is, doesn't work. But it's also a relief that I won't have to compete against Shawn.

* * *

Courtney took a quick look of who's left, and was immediately overcome with dread. "Oh no…!" she groaned. "Which leaves Courtney, Lindsay, Justin, Amy, Samey, Dakota, and Topher. You guys are…" Chris began as he began to stifle laughter. "You're the…" Chris was unable to contain his laughter as he was about to announce the name of this, clearly, joke of a team. "Come on, Chris! Spit it out already!" Courtney demanded as he threw a purple banner at her head. She quickly got up and unraveled it, revealing its logo to be a triad of butterflies next to an eye. "The Beautiful Butterflies!" Chris announced as he laughed some more.

* * *

 **Sammy** : Why do I always have to end up being on the same team as Amy? Typical Chris. Making me have to put up with Amy's abuse again to increase the drama. However…

 **Courtney** : Beautiful Butterflies? SERIOUSLY?! Why aren't I on the Brains team?! I'm smarter than all of those bozos put together! Yes, I know Izzy claims to have an IQ of 183, but do you guys honestly believe her? Even me being on the Brawns team makes more sense! Why am I teamed up with these...?! [groans]

 **Chris** : For those of you wondering why Courtney is on this team as opposed to the other two, there are two reasons. One, my cameramen seem to be fixated on her behind. Two, to ensure that she goes home as soon as possible. By placing her on the weakest team, full of people well aware of her reputation, she'll be out faster than Ezekiel.

* * *

"Aww~! Butterflies are so adorable!" Lindsay squealed. "Well, it was either that or the Beautiful Bunnies," Chris replied, causing Lindsay, as well as the rest of the blondes on the team, to go, "Aww…!" The twins then turned away from each other, because Heaven forbid they actually agree on something! Justin and Topher, the two boys on the team, looked rather uncomfortable having such a girly name for their team. Courtney just rolled her eyes, but discovered something else about her team: "Wait, we only have seven members while the other two have eight! What gives?!" she asked, just as the Drama Machine wheeled itself over to them. "Fine. You can have the robot," Chris groaned. "Right now, it is time for your first challenge!"

"Wait, shouldn't we settle into our cabins first?" asked Tyler. "No time. Besides, you're going to be competing for your living arrangements!" Chris announced. "If you do adequately enough, you get to stay in our newly refurbished cabins and eat adequate meals from the Mess Hall," he began as the camera panned over to the two cabins, definitely looking better than in seasons past.

"Do better, and your team stays at our brand new resort and spa hotel where you'll be catered to your every whim, sponsored by Dick Milton and Milton Hotels." The camera then pans to the two-story building with a hot tub located outside, as well as a balcony right above the front entrance. On the two front doors, there was a giant M, which the narcissistic host would like to think stands for, "McLean".

"And if you come in last… you win a tent." The camera just pans to an unopened tent kit just in between the two residences. Judging from the size, it would not be big enough to house eight people. "Oh, by the way, these living arrangements are _permanent_." Immediately, all three teams knew where they wanted to stay. And to get to stay there for the entirety of the season, up until the merge at least, was a huge bonus! "So, teams get to the cliff!" Chris then blew his air horn again and the contestants began running… or at least the first two did. The third team was lagging behind since the Drama Machine could only go so far in such a short time.

"Ugh! Our first challenge hasn't even started yet and this stupid bucket of bolts is already slowing us down! We're going to end up with the tent for sure!" Courtney complained. "Samey, make yourself useful for once and push that robot to quicken its pace!" Amy demanded. Normally, Sammy would expect Jasmine to defend her whenever Amy belittled her or ordered her to do all of the labor. This time, however, since Jasmine was on a different team, she had to stand up for herself. "What? And let you take credit for my work again?" she snapped. "And when have I ever done that?" Amy asked, obviously lying through her teeth.

Courtney rolled her eyes at the two bickering and decided to push the robot herself. "I'd help, but I don't wanna ruin my manicure," Dakota complained. "Me neither," added Justin. "You heard them, Samey. Help her." Amy ordered. Sammy just rolled her eyes again, thinking now was the best time to put her plan into action. "Okay." She then went over to Courtney and helped her push their metal teammate along, but not before taking off her red top. Amy was shocked and angered to see her sister in a blue top. "You… skank!" Amy yelled.

* * *

 **Amy** : How dare she buy a mismatched shirt without my permission! How am I supposed to take credit for her accomplishments now?!

 **Sammy** : The look on Amy's face when she saw my blue t-shirt was priceless. As an added bonus, I took money from her piggy bank to buy this shirt. I know that sounds bad, but you'd be surprised how much money she stole from me. Since she won't willingly pay me back, I might as well do it for her.

* * *

As Sammy pushed the robot with Courtney, she noticed Courtney was glaring at Duncan, whose team was right ahead of them. "You've been staring a hole at Duncan ever since we got here." Courtney chose not to respond, and instead look away once Duncan looked back at his former Princess. "Isn't it time to let go of the past?" Sammy asked. "Duncan did do a terrible thing to you. I'll give you that, but if you continue on like this, you might end up doing something that you'll probably regret later in life."

"I can't say I'm mad at him anymore. I should've seen it coming. He's a bad boy, he does bad things. Here I am thinking I could change him," Courtney answered. "So, you're chastising yourself for what happened back in London?" Sammy asked, chuckling because this seemed rather out of character for the otherwise bold Courtney.

Courtney looked at her and asked back, "And what is the issue with that? Didn't you ever chastise yourself for not rebelling against your sister years earlier?" Sammy felt more surprised than offended by that. "You mean that even with my red shirt on, you can tell the difference between me and Amy?" Courtney rolled her eyes and said, "Of course. It baffles me on how your teammates back in TDPI were idiotic enough to not realize that you don't have a beauty mark, while your sister does." Courtney soon joined the younger twin in laughter.

Meanwhile, the first two teams were already at the top of the cliff. They had to wait a while for Team #3 to join them. Eventually, they did and Courtney and Sammy collapsed from exhaustion. "What took you guys so long?" Heather asked. While she felt too exhausted to yell, Courtney still managed to say in an angry tone, "Isn't it obvious, you idiot? This robot is slower than a sloth and all but one of my teammates were too lazy to help me."

Believing this to be an opportunity to hoodwink the cast into believing in her "superiority," Amy said, "Yeah. I helped Courtney push this robot most of the way up, but Samey was too lazy to help until the last minute." Courtney and Sammy glared at her. The rest of her team just blinked, because they swore the twin in BLUE was the one who helped Courtney push the robot up, not the one in red. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was your sister," Lindsay admitted. If _Lindsay_ was able to see past the façade, there was no helping the older twin. Sammy's plan worked! Before she can brag about it, however, Chris arrived. "Now then, I'm sure you all recognize this location, whether you were actually here or not."

Those closest to the cliff's edge looked down. Sure enough, there was the thousand foot drop towards the waters below. "Your challenge is to dive down to the bottom of the bay to retrieve a key. One of those keys opens the spa hotel. One of them opens up one of the cabins. The other twenty-two open… other things," Chris began. "Each team must have one person dive down, and then race to the shore where one of your teammates will push you along in the baby carriages from Season Three's New York challenge. So decide who's going to be doing the pushing, as well as trek all the way back down to the beach."

"I'll go push for my team. I still have that 'condition' that prevents me from jumping off cliffs this high," Courtney volunteered. Clearly, that condition was "sanity." She'd do a lot for a billion dollars; jumping a thousand feet in the air to land in the water was not one of them. Duncan just rolled his eyes. Gwen also stepped forward. "I'll do it." Duncan was surprised by Gwen's actions. Surely she would've wanted to stay away from Courtney, especially since the brunette volunteered first. Duncan also stepped forward. "I'll go to make sure my girl doesn't get into a fist fight."

"Alright. No team member is allowed to dive until your carriage pusher makes it to their respective carriages. So, who's up for a toboggan race?" Chris asked as he guided the trio to a triad of toboggans. All identical save for each of the team flags draped over the front of each one. The young adults didn't bother to wait for Chris to signal the race to start as all three had already jumped in and began sliding down. "Huh… rude much?" Chris asked, glaring at the camera.

Courtney, ignoring the pain from pushing her metal teammate all the way up the cliff, blazed downwards to make sure Duncan and Gwen wouldn't be able to kept up with her. However, Gwen was on her tail, with Duncan close behind. The girls were both able to steer away from obstacles such as trees, rocks, and animals. Duncan, not so much. Gwen turned back to see if he was alright, but narrowly avoided crashing into her former friend. "Watch it!" Courtney yelled. Duncan just stared, mesmerized by the CIT… What was happening to him?!

* * *

 **Duncan** : And now I remember why I fell for Courtney in the first place; she's fierce, she's determined, and won't take crap from anyone… not even me. Not to mention it's SO MUCH FUN to mess with her! Then again, she LOVES to play Nutcracker, and try to mold me into the "perfect boyfriend." Meanwhile, Gwen doesn't care that I'm perfect or not, not to mention she's also sweet and snarky, as well as very talented and humble! However, these days, our relationship is seeming… dull…

* * *

Meanwhile, each team was deciding who should dive first. "Oh! Can I go first? Can I? Please?!" Izzy squealed, hopping up and down. Heather rolled her eyes and answered, "Yeah. Sure." Izzy cheered and made her way to jump, but saw that Gwen wasn't at their orange carriage yet. Pouting, she stood there at the cliff, ready to jump when the moment struck.

Elsewhere, another redhead was doing his best to stay away from the cliff's edge. "No way. I'm not jumping at all," he claimed, backing towards a tree. "Fine, you don't have to go first you little coward, but you ARE jumping. I'll go," Jo volunteered as Brick also made his way towards the cliff. "Actually, it should be me who goes first. I've been to military school and one of the things they taught was combat swimming." Jo immediately got in his face and continued to bicker with him.

* * *

 **Brick** : In truth, frogmen in the military are outdated and I was never taught about combat swimming, but I needed to think of some way to look better than Jo.

 **Scott** : I wanted to volunteer to push the carriage for my team, that way I wouldn't have to face [gulp] Fang… PLEASE let him actually not be here and I'm just being paranoid for no reason?!

* * *

"That water doesn't have any toxins in it, right?" Dakota asked. "I don't want it ruining my genes… again." Lindsay blinked. "But you're not wearing jeans," she commented, confused by the homophones. "Well, if history is going to repeat itself, then the sharks down there will help me find that winning key no problem," Justin bragged, earning a loud laughter in response from Topher. "Good luck with that. I was able to charm a few animals myself. I'll take this," Topher volunteered. Justin already had his ego tempered with Al, despite him not even competing in Season Three with the Latino. He didn't need it from Sierra's long lost twin cousin or something like that. "Let's put it to a vote," Justin suggested as he took off his shirt. The way his female teammates swooned as he did so not only ensured he still got it, but that he'll take the first dive. "Fine, I'll go second," Topher complained.

Finally, one of the three tobogganers reached the shore and their carriage. Grabbing their team flag, they stood it in the sand. And with that, Izzy cheered, "Geronimo!" as she leapt into the water below. Gwen, meanwhile, was resting on her carriage when Courtney showed up. "Hey, Courtney…" Gwen began. Courtney looked willing to listen. "You think maybe after the challenge we can talk? Without Duncan?" Gwen asked. Courtney remained silent, wanting to focus on the challenge, but intrigued by what Gwen had to say. "Sure," she answered. "As long as you're ready to apologize."

Gwen was about to retort when Izzy came back and hopped in the yellow baby carriage. "I got the key to victory! Let's win that hotel!" Izzy hooted as Gwen pushed her along. Courtney, thankfully, didn't have to wait too long after for Justin to appear from the water, the sharks assisting him to shore. Just as Duncan was sliding into the area, Courtney and Justin made their way to the hotel with their key. And Duncan waited for someone, ANYONE, to jump and dive in for their own. Brick and Jo quickly took notice and started to bicker again.

"Look, Duncan's here now, so let me take the jump!"

"Allow me… to make the chances of you getting the winning key greater?"

"Like you're fooling me with that!"

As the two continued to argue, Tyler decided to take matters into his own hands. He jumped, screaming along the way down, and landed in the water below… or he would've if his aim wasn't off and instead hit the boat Chef was on monitoring the challenge from the sidelines. He simply picked the jock out of the boat and tossed him back into the water. Eventually, Tyler came back up and jumped in their team's baby carriage. "Finally…" Duncan groaned as he began to push it to the spa hotel.

Meanwhile, Izzy and Justin have both got faulty keys for both the hotel and the cabins and were on their way back. "Bummer!" Izzy complained before tucking the key in her shirt. Justin was simply silent as Courtney returned him. As soon as both girls reached the beach once more, two more contestants took the dive: Harold jumped and, thankfully, did not land on his groin this time around. Instead, he landed on Lindsay as both crashed into the water. Duncan quickly returned with Tyler who had just barely missed his girlfriend blow him a kiss.

As the challenge went on, more contestants took the dive: Topher found a key shaped like Chris' head, and when that didn't work, he kept it as a souvenir. Shawn discovered a key that appeared to have had a bite taken out of it, and it was no surprise that it failed to open either residence. Dawn had hers handed over to her by a school of fish, and was still grateful even after the key was revealed to be yet another phony.

Soon enough, Heather and Gwen were at the Spa Hotel. "Come on, stupid door! Open!" she yelled. "I'm pretty sure that's not the right key," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. Heather just jumped back into the carriage as Gwen wheeled her to the cabin. She tried the key there, and it turned. "And second place goes to the Brainiac Buzzards!" Chris announced over the speakers. Of course, the team was disappointed, but at least they didn't get stuck with the tent. However, no one on that team was more upset than Heather.

* * *

 **Heather** : Damn it! I have to spend an entire season in a cabin that has cracked windows, a leaky roof, beds with springs that hurt, thin blankets! I can go on with the complaints forever!

 **Dawn** : In all honesty, I was hoping my team would end up with the tent. I greatly prefer camping out at night and listening to the soothing sounds of nature over sleeping on a bed in a cabin.

* * *

Left on the cliff's ledge were Amy, Sammy, Jo, Brick, Scott, and the robot. When Courtney arrived with Dakota, relieved that the water did positive wonders to her hair, the twins decided to go the way of Jo and Brick. "Come on, Amy, no one's going to fall for your tricks now. If I jump and get the winning key, so be it," Sammy argued. "Like I'm letting YOU be responsible for our team! You'd get us in the tent for sure!" Amy fired back. Scott just groaned. "You know what? I'LL decide which one of you goes over first if that'll make you happy!" he shouted, picking Amy up and throwing her off the cliff. "Hopefully, that'll stop the racket."

Scott immediately regretted his decision as Jo came to toss him over as well. "H-Hey! I just wanted it to be quieter up here!" he shouted in defense. "I know your thing was throwing challenges so your team would purposefully lose, but actively helping the other team?! Now I feel like throwing YOU!" Jo screamed as she chased him around. While Jo was distracted, Brick jumped and Sammy just stared.

Amy just grimaced as she made her way with her key to Courtney. "Finally…" the CIT groaned, pushing Amy in the carriage. Duncan just rolled his eyes as Brick hopped in his carriage, doing his best to sprint to reach the hotel before Courtney did. Good news, he did make it first. Bad news, the key Brick got wasn't the winner. Duncan just groaned.

Meanwhile, Jo was successful in tossing her teammate in the water. When Scott landed, he swam as fast as he could to the lake bottom and grabbed one of the keys. However, right when he was about to swim to the shore, he saw Fang swimming right for him. He screamed and started swimming with Fang in hot pursuit. He reached the shore, but Duncan had not returned yet. Seeing that Fang also reached the shore by now, he started running around the beach with Fang right behind him.

Soon, both Duncan and Courtney returned and Scott immediately hid in his team's carriage. "Hey!" Courtney complained. "Get back here you cheat!" Duncan just flipped off his ex as she growled at him. Thankfully, Sammy was able to dive, grab one of the remaining keys, and make her way Courtney. "Let's go!" she shouted as both raced to the hotel.

Duncan once again made it first, and once again found that their key was a dud. Upon seeing Courtney and Sammy rush over, he placed his foot in their path in an attempt to trip them. Instead, he wound up with said foot in pain. Those wheels were a lot sturdier than he realized.

Sammy soon hopped out of the carriage, but realized she had dropped her key in the process of Duncan's sabotage attempt. "Oh crap!" she shouted as she began looking for her key. Courtney, noticing her teammate's struggle, also went down searching for the crown-shaped key in the grass. Thankfully, she found it and tossed it over to Sammy, who quickly bolted towards the Spa Hotel door.

 _Click_.

And just like that, it was over.

"Yes!" Courtney shouted. She hugged Sammy as they cheered in victory. She quickly gave a smug grin at Duncan, who just glared in response. The other Beautiful Butterflies, including the robot, cheered along with Sammy and Courtney, except Amy, who was glaring and crossing her arms at Sammy. Noticing this, Sammy followed Courtney's example and gave a smug grin at Amy, which only made Amy angrier.

* * *

 **Courtney** : This challenge could not have gone better. Not only did my team win, but Duncan has to live in a small cramped tent for remainder of his time here. Too bad he won't be living in those miserable conditions for long though. I'm making sure he's going home the first opportunity I get.

 **Duncan** : This blows! Not only does my ex live in a fancy schmancy hotel during the summer, but I have to live in a tent?! [sighs, then chuckles] But it's not like she'll be staying there for long. They're gonna vote her off the first chance they get. All I have to do is sit back, relax, and watch her burn…!

 **Amy** : I… I can't believe this! My sister won the challenge for us… and I can't take credit for it! [groans] Looks like I actually have to… put effort into the competition! I shouldn't have to do that! That's what the bottom of the pyramid is for: they do the work while the top gets all the praise. And Sammy, despite her luck today, is a definite bottom.

* * *

"Congratulations to the Beautiful Butterflies. You're staying at the Milton Resort and Spa during your time here. Hooray…!" Chris droned, obviously unenthused at what he thought was going to be the weakest team was celebrating their win. All brought their bags inside, leaving the losers in the dust… literally for a handful. Gwen just walked up to Duncan after settling down in the cabin.

"Hey… sorry you have to stay in the tent," Gwen began. Duncan didn't respond, obviously still pissed. So Gwen decided to kiss him in an attempt to cheer him up. Duncan kissed back. "I'll be sure to bring you breakfast in the morning," she promised. "Good, last thing I need to eat is Chef's leftover schlop," Duncan chuckled before making out with his girlfriend.

Unbeknownst to Gwen and Duncan, Courtney watched them the entire time from the second floor balcony of the Spa Hotel. As Duncan was walking to his team's tent, Courtney said to herself, "Sweet nightmares, Duncan. Tomorrow, you will face the full force of Hurricane Courtney." It wasn't long until she caught Gwen staring up at her, and she rolled her eyes, remembering that she promised to talk, but not wanting to make the trek back down and outside. "What?"

"Look, I know what I did was wrong, SUPER wrong, and I just wanna apologize for everything that's happened and—" Gwen began to ramble but Courtney cut her off with, "I'm sorry too…" she said begrudgingly, leaning on the railing of the balcony, looking down at her former friend. She was still mad at Gwen, but she still missed having her as a friend. Gwen agreed. "So… friends again?" she asked. "Maybe," Courtney answered, smiling as she went back inside the Milton and Gwen to the cabins. All the while, Chris was watching, and gagging at, the scene.

"Hello! It's _Total DRAMA_ , not _Total FRIENDSHIP_. How am I supposed to get ratings out of that?!" Chris complained with a sigh. "At least we still have a heated rivalry between Amy and Samey. I highly doubt that they'll ever end their conflict. Can't believe I didn't have a chance to milk it last season!" Chris then turned to the camera filming him. "Now that the teams are settled, who will rightfully rise to victory, and who will unsurprisingly send someone home tomorrow? Seriously, the Butterflies just got lucky, but they won't be next time, on _Total_! _Drama_! _All-Stars_!"


	2. In the Eye of the Beholder

_Last time on_ Total Drama All-Stars _: Our teams had their first challenge to determine living arrangements. It was Brains vs Brawn vs Beauty, diving into shark-infested waters in search of the one key that would unlock the door to the all-new McLean Spa Hotel, for the winning team only. Thanks to Sammy and Courtney, they were able to get their beautiful team into a much more beautiful Spa Hotel. And while Heather may not hold that key, she did hold the key to the updated cabin for the Brainy Buzzards. As for the Brawns, well, now they're cramped in a tent meant for half as many people on their team. Tonight, we face our first elimination. Will the Beautiful Butterflies prove that they just had beginners luck as another team takes the prize? And long will I be able to keep myself from purposefully hurting these campers without consequence? Find out right now on_ Total… Drama… All-Stars _!_

* * *

The Spa Hotel had just been settled in by its new residents, and sleeping arrangements were about to me made. There were four rooms on the top floor with two queen sized beds each. Each room also came with a balcony, a full bath with a jacuzzi and shower stall, a walk-in closet, and a phone for room service from the hotel staff, along with other hotel amenities. The only question now, who shall be sharing a room with whom? The seven Beautiful Butterflies, eight including the robot, were sitting in the lobby as Courtney mapped the arrangements out while doing her best to keep her composure.

"I think it's obvious that I'm not sleeping anywhere near that inferiority," Amy argued. "Not like I wanted to sleep near you, sis," Sammy snapped back. Courtney cleared her throat in an attempt to keep the twins from bickering. "As I was saying… Topher and Justin, since you two are the only boys, you two will share a room. Lindsay, Dakota… you two decide which twin you'll take as a roommate," Courtney instructed as Lindsay raised her hand. "Yes?" Courtney asked. "So… why are you the only one who has a room all to yourself?" Lindsay asked. "I won't. I'll be sharing one with the robot," Courtney answered. "Yeah, because it's the only member of our team willing to listen to you," Justin shot as the rest of the team, save for Sammy, began to laugh. The robot just beeped.

* * *

 **Courtney** : Ugh! Will it kill for anyone to show me at least SOME respect?! Not only was I a CIT, I currently have an internship with a prestigious law firm! I'm the only one on my team with a guaranteed future! The least they could do is not trash talk me!

* * *

Outside, the Brawny Buffaloes were living the bad life. The tent was so cramped that the contestants were practically sitting on top of each other. "Man, this is a lot more uncomfortable than the time Harold filled my mattress with rocks back in season two," Duncan complained. Scott scoffed and further complained, "I hope we lose the next challenge. At least we'd get a little more room is this damn tent." He immediately regretted saying that as Jo glared at him. "If you throw the next challenge, you're going to get it!" she threatened.

"Hey, it could be worse. This tent would be a lot more cramped if Jasmine and Shawn didn't decide to sleep on that tree outside," Tyler pointed out as the two were sleeping rather comfortably on the outside tree. "You know what, I'm gonna try it their way. LeShawna needs room to rest," the female spoke. "Heck, this tent is too small to fit just you anyway," Scott joked, earning a kick in the gut as the large female stormed, rather, crawled out and set up her camp at the tree's base. And with five people in the tent instead of eight, it still felt crowded, though even less so now. "So… anyone else wanna leave to make this place a little emptier?" Duncan asked. The silence he received in response gave him his answer.

* * *

 **Scott** : If LeShawna plans on sleeping on a tree branch, hopefully it won't be able to support her weight. [eyes dart back and forth] Don't tell her I said that.

* * *

Elsewhere, the guys and girls of the Brainiac Buzzards were settled in their cabin, which was surprisingly larger than the two traditional Wawanakwa cabins put together. In the middle of both rooms was a common area to privately discuss strategy, or hang out in case someone else wanted to sleep in peace. Thankfully, much to Heather's pleasure, the rickety bunkbeds have been replaced with sturdier, more comfortable full-sized beds with plenty of headroom, two by each of the windows with the other two along the perpendicular wall. She of course took the bed by the window with the view of the ocean. Now if only the rest of the girls will let her sleep.

Gwen was drawing in her sketch pad while letting her music play on the radio, Izzy was hopping around like a hyperactive bunny rabbit on steroids, and Dawn was chatting along with her animal friends. Heather gave a low growl as she covered her head with her pillow in hopes of drowning out all the noise to no avail. When she felt Izzy landing on her back, she finally had enough. "Will you yappy freaks keep it down already?! I'm trying to sleep! And get off my back, Izzy!" she shouted. Izzy just barked as she hopped over to her own bed, then to Gwen's and then to Dawn's.

"You speak deer too?!" Izzy asked. "Why yes. I can communicate with just about all of these lovely creatures," Dawn answered. Izzy in response got down on her knees. "Marry me?" she asked, to which Dawn just blinked. Izzy chuckled afterwards, stating, "Joking! Marriage is just a conspiracy by the government." Yeah, proof that Izzy is still as crazy as ever, not that she cared. She was very proud of the fact.

Meanwhile, on the boys' side of the cabin, things were going rather well. After unpacking, all four of them were playing poker. Max gave a smug grin and placed down his cards. All five were cards of diamonds. "Read em and weep, losers. A flush. Beat that," he said. B and Harold put down their cards and they were worth nothing. Feeling very confident now, Max looked at Cody. "Evil always wins. What are you waiting for, Cody? Put down your cards already." Cody gave Max a grin of his own and put down his cards as he said. Max gasped and widened his eyes as he saw Cody's cards. Cody got the hardest and best hand possible in the game: a royal flush.

"What?! Not possible!" Max shouted in dismay. B and Harold were also shocked. "Whoa. The probability of getting a royal flush without cheating are one in 649,740," Harold pointed out. Cody emptied his pockets, revealing some spare change, his EpiPen, but no extra playing cards. B silently applauded Cody while Max pouted.

* * *

 **Max** : You may win this time, Cody, but mark my words. I'll defeat you so hard next time, you'll cry. Evil always prevails. [and cue maniacal laughter]

* * *

The next morning came and breakfast was being served. The Mess Hall was filled only with the Brainiacs, perfect for talking strategy. Gwen took part of her breakfast to the tent sitting next to the cabin, looking for her boyfriend. She was puzzled at two of his teammates sleeping in a tree, but then spotted him sleeping at the base of said tree. Sitting down next to him, she nudged him in the side, waking him up, because she wasn't sure if the pancakes would've done it.

Sammy walked onto the Spa Hotel balcony and noticed Courtney was eavesdropping on Gwen and Duncan yet again. She walked up to Courtney and said, "You really shouldn't spy on them every time they're together. It's not good for you." Courtney took her eyes off Gwen and Duncan for a moment and answered, "Easy for you to say. Those two could be scheming at this very moment to get me kicked off."

"I really hope you aren't scheming yourself to break them up with lies and trickery. That would be stooping to Heather's level," Sammy said with concern. "I'm not like Heather. My strategies in my past seasons didn't involve lies and trickery," Courtney reminded Sammy. "Besides, those two backstabbers deserve each other. I wouldn't want to tear them apart, otherwise they'd hurt other people." Sammy blinked. "That's… oddly nice of you," she stated. "Come on, breakfast is ready." Sammy then took Courtney by the arm and led her downstairs.

Meanwhile, Gwen and Duncan were fully aware of Courtney spying on them again. "Does that girl have anything better to do?" Duncan asked. Gwen shrugged and answered, "Well, you know Courtney. She's not a woman who can easily let go of a grudge against people who have wronged her." Duncan just blinked. "You're saying that as if you did something wrong," he stated. Gwen was about to retort when the familiar reverie sounded. "Campers, meet me on the beach for your first elimination challenge!"

When the contestants made it to the beach, they noticed three colored platforms. The Brainiac Buzzards climbed up the orange platform, the Brawny Buffalos up the green one, and the Beautiful Butterflies up the purple one. Courtney and Sammy struggled to lift the robot to the top of the platform, but they managed to place it on the platform with them. Courtney glared at her teammates and said, "Can't you five lazy bums help me and Sammy move this robot just once. It weighs a ton." Before anyone on her team could answer, Chris started telling the rules of the challenge.

"Bonjour, mes campers. Some of you will recall our season three Parisian Find and Build a Sculpture debacle. Well, this time our interns have buried 3-D puzzle pieces all over the beach. Eight pieces per team. Find all your pieces and assemble them on your platform to recreate one of the landmarks visited on our World Tour. First to finish, wins a prize and is safe from elimination. Second gets no prize, but is also safe from elimination. I'm sure you already know what happens to the third place team."

* * *

 **Courtney** : Terrific. Since the robot likely can't search or dig for a puzzle piece, my team is practically at a numbers disadvantage. Judging by the laziness of most of my other teammates, chances are that Sammy and I are on our own to find the eighth piece.

 **Lindsay** : I really don't like hearing the word "Paris" or any mention of that place. Not only was I arrested there for smudging the "Mary Linda" at the Louvre. I also got eliminated in my last season there.

* * *

"I'll give you ten minutes to deliberate before the challenge starts," Chris informed, allowing all three teams to huddle. "Might I suggest dividing our section of the beach into eight quadrants and we each take one to search for a piece?" Dawn asked. Heather just rolled her eyes and answered, "No. That sounds dumb. I suggest we each search eight different areas of the beach to find our pieces." The entire team just blinked. Didn't she just say Dawn's idea with different words? "I like Dawn's idea," said Cody. B nodded in response along with a chorus of agreement from the rest of the team. "Fine… we'll go with Dawn's plan…" Heather begrudgingly decided.

"Then what?" Gwen asked. "Then we shall annihilate the competition and and take over the world!" Max answered, laughing maniacally. Izzy, of course joined him. "So we all come together to build afterwards?" Harold questioned, clearly ignoring his two crazy teammates. This immediately met with him being hit in the head with Izzy's backhand. "Shush! Listen to the evil overlord," she scolded.

* * *

 **Max** : Hmm… That Izzy character intrigues me… Hello new sidekick!

* * *

"How about two of us stay on the platform and arrange the statue as the rest of us deliver the pieces?" Jasmine suggested. "Yep. Totally on board with that plan," Shawn quickly quipped. "You're just agreeing because she's your girlfriend, aren't you?" asked Tyler. "Just because you do it with Lindsay, doesn't mean I don't actually think my girlfriend has good ideas," Shawn said, and already causing friction within the team.

"I like Jasmine's idea, but that was kinda low," admitted Brick. "Hey! It's not Tyler's fault that he's dating the dullest crayon in the pack," Jo followed, causing Tyler to get upset. "Excuse me! S-Sure, you're right, but Lindsay's smarter than you give her credit for!" he snapped. "Knock it off, will you?!" LeShawna snapped, causing her teammates to quickly end their quarrel. Now was not the time to comment on Tyler's choice in women.

* * *

 **Tyler** : Admittedly, Lindsay is far from the smartest person in the world, but unlike Shawn, she's smart enough to know that there are no such thing as zombies. How does Jasmine put up with Shawn's constant mention of his idiotic fear?

 **Jo** : How does that clumsy jock put up with Lindsay's stupidity? She can't even remember the shortest and simplest of names.

* * *

"So, what's the plan?" asked Dakota. "We need diggers, runners, and builders. Now, this is going to require everyone's contribution, and I do mean EVERYONE," Courtney instructed. "I volunteer to do none of that," offered Justin. "Oh! I'm good at running! Can I do it?" Lindsay asked. "Sure, you can deliver pieces to our builders on the platform. Anyone else before I start assigning jobs?" Courtney asked. "I'll build," offered Topher. "Can I join him? I don't want sand in my nails," Dakota volunteered. Rolling her eyes at Dakota's vanity, Courtney answered, "Yeah, sure. Whatever."

Justin raised his hand. "That's a good idea. I'll build too. The less sand in my beautiful nails, the better," he said. Courtney shook her head and answered, "Oh, no, you're not. Two builders is enough and Topher and Dakota already called those two positions. So, you're either running or digging whether you like it or not." Topher and Dakota gave smug grins to Justin, who stomped his foot in frustration. "Fine. I'll run," he said. "I'll run too," Amy suggested, leaving Courtney and Sammy as the diggers and the robot doing… nothing. Of course no one else wants to do the hard work.

Courtney leaned towards Sammy. "We'd be able to cover more ground faster if we had one more digger," she whispered. "Don't worry. I can talk one of our runners into helping us dig," Sammy said before turning to her sister. "Hey, Amy. Why sit back and watch me and Courtney do all the hard work when you can prove yourself as the better twin by digging up more pieces than me?" Amy just gasped, fuming. How dare her younger, more inferior sister try to use reverse psychology on her! If she denied, Sammy could take credit for winning again. If she agreed, she'd actually have to, you know, work! "Fine… I'll dig." Courtney smiled.

The sound of a whistle meant deliberating had come to an end, and Chris was tired of stalling. "On your marks, get set, START DIGGING!" And the race was on. Everyone who was tasked to dig and search for pieces began to do so, covering the entire beach. Of course, Chris being Chris, he neglected to mention one tiny little thing, and Jo was the first to encounter that little thing, being met with a crab to the face. Upon noticing, Chris laughed, turning to the camera, he confessed, "I left some booby traps along the beach."

Amy started digging quickly, desperate to be the first one to find a piece. She actually felt something in one of her hands and quickly pulled the object out of the ground. "Ha! In your face, Sparemy. I found a piece before you," she gloated. Sammy and Courtney looked at each other before snickering. "What the hell is so funny?" Amy asked. She got her answer when she looked at what she dug out of the ground and saw that it was just an empty plastic bottle rather than a puzzle piece.

Amy growled before she tossed the bottle behind her. It wasn't long before she heard someone say, "Ahem." Amy looked behind her and saw Dawn holding the plastic bottle and glaring at her. "What do you want, Nature Freak? And what are you doing on my team's area on the beach?" Amy asked, returning a glare. Dawn shook her head and answered, "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Whenever you find a littered object, you're supposed to dispose of it the right way, not litter it again. Do you have any idea how bad litter is for the environment? You and I are going to have a long talk about recycling and the evil of littering later." Dawn walked back to her team's area of the beach.

As she watched Dawn leave, she heard Courtney and Sammy say at the exact same time, "Ohh, burn." Amy pounded a fist on the sand, which triggered one of the booby traps, causing a pie to be flung in her face. It wouldn't be too bad if the pie crust wasn't caked with sand. Courtney and Sammy, along with their teammates started to laugh at her. "Perhaps that pie in the face will make you more sweet," Sammy joked as she continued to laugh.

* * *

 **Amy** : [wiping her face with a rag] You'll get yours, Samey. You, your CIT friend, and the Nature Freak all will.

 **Courtney** : Seeing Amy get a sand pie in the face was funny, but I probably literally would have died from laughter if I saw Duncan suffer that fate.

* * *

It wouldn't be about an hour into the challenge when someone finally found the first piece to their sculpture. "YES!" Heather cried as she raced to her team's platform, holding a grey piece. Not too long after, B and Dawn also found pieces and joined Heather to place their statuette together. Soon enough, Jasmine and LeShawna both found black colored pieces and rushed to give them to Shawn and Brick, who quickly began to piece it together, or at least attempt to do so if they fit.

As Jo continued to dig, she activated another of the booby traps. A decomposing arm shot out of the sand, surprising Jo. Shawn saw this from the top of the podium and instantly became terrified. "Oh, my god! A zombie!" he shouted in terror before starting to scream and run around in circles. While some of the cast were looking in amusement at Shawn making a fool of himself, others were getting annoyed. Jo took the decomposed arm out of the sand and threw it at Shawn, hitting him in the head. "Will you shut up already?! It's just a Halloween prop!"

After Shawn had calmed down and the Brawny Buffalos resumed the challenge, LeShawna turned to Jasmine and asked, "Have you ever even tried to convince that white boy that zombies don't exist?" Jasmine sighed and answered, "Yes, but nothing I did changed anything. He's still traumatized by a prank his cousins pulled on him as a child. One night, they dressed as zombies and snuck into Shawn's room while he was asleep. They made zombie sounds, which woke him up and just one sight of his cousins' zombie disguises was enough to scare the crap out of him and start a lifelong paranoia about the undead." LeShawna seethed at Jasmine's story while Tyler just rolled his eyes.

* * *

 **LeShawna** : And I thought Duncan's pranks on Harold were bad. Those pranks are mild compared to what Shawn's cousins did to him.

 **Tyler** : THIS was the guy who was in the Final Two last season? He's so… how do I say this? Crazy as a loon. No wait, scratch that. He's a thousand times crazier than a loon.

* * *

Max went over to the border between his team's and the Brawny Buffalos' sections of the beach and decided to pull one of his evil schemes. When no one was looking, he searched for one of the Buffalos' puzzle pieces and, much to his luck, found one quickly. He started digging a hole in his team's section to hide the stolen puzzle piece when Izzy popped up from the sand like a gopher. "Hey, whatcha doing there, Max?" Izzy asked. "Well, new sidekick, I'm burying one of our opponents' puzzle pieces on our side of the beach to make it impossible for them to finish their puzzle," Max answered with an evil grin. "Wow, sinister and mischievous. Just like me," Izzy said with a giggle.

As Max walked away to find another spot to dig for one of his team's pieces, he stepped on a booby trap. A trap door opened up behind him and a swarm of angry bees flew out and started to attack Max. "Bees! BEES!" Max screamed as he started to run with the bees in hot pursuit. While his teammates felt sympathetic for the self-proclaimed villain, they didn't interfere in fear of getting attacked themselves and decided to just continue looking for pieces.

As Harold watched the scene, he decided to point out another one of his fun facts to B since he was next to him. "Funny thing about bee stings is that some people actually believe the venom from the stings can help cure multiple sclerosis. While it's not conclusively proven that bee venom therapy works, some multiple sclerosis patients who went through the practice claims that the bee venom worked like a charm," Harold pointed out. While B didn't really care, he decided to be polite and let Harold continue talking.

The Brawny Buffaloes were getting desperate as they had the least amount of pieces found thus far. They frantically continued looking for any pieces they could find, unaware that there were only seven in their area. Max, who was covered in bee stings, snickered as he watched the team struggle. "My best evil scheme yet," he proudly mumbled to himself.

Eventually, two more pieces have been found, each by the twins. "Hey! Found one before you, Samey!" Amy bragged, waving her piece in the air before Justin grabbed the white statue piece and ran to his team's platform. "Does it really matter?" Sammy asked as she gave her piece to Lindsay. Both ran to Dakota and Topher who began piecing the statue together… all while the robot just watched.

* * *

 **Robot** : [series of beeps and boops which translate into, "Curse this metal shell! I can't do anything in this thing! Curse you, Chris!"]

* * *

As time went on, more pieces were found, and soon the Brainiac Buzzards have all eight of their pieces. "YES! EAT SAND, LOSERS!" Heather taunted, causing the other teams to start using drastic measures to get their pieces to their teammates as the Brains began putting their statuette together. Some of them even resorted to outright throwing their pieces to them, hitting them in the head if not having them fail to catch it altogether.

One such piece on the Brawn's team found its way heading towards the platform of the Beauty team, crashing into the metal torso of the robot. The robot in turn fell off of the platform, thankfully landing perfectly on its wheels. Due to the sand on the ground, it thankfully didn't roll away on its own.

However, Amy saw it on the ground and got an idea: they only had one more piece to find, so maybe she can send the robot out there to activate any more booby traps that might be hiding, that way she didn't have to suffer for it… again. She took the robot and pushed it with all of her might towards the ocean, letting it roll and beep in a panic.

 _BOOM!_

Everyone looked up a saw a humanoid figure flying up into the air. Everyone squinted their eyes until they finally identified the shaggy and bearded figure. It was season three's "slippery eel" antagonist, Alejandro Burromuerto. The contestants were surprised, but not as much as Heather who yelled, "You have got to be kidding me!" Alejandro seemed to ignore the fact that he was falling from over a hundred feet and happily screamed, "FREEDOM!" as he continued to fall.

* * *

 **Alejandro** : Last thing I remember I was burnt to a crisp by the volcano back in the season three finale and Chris sealed me up in that robot suit to [air quote] "heal." It feels so good to be free after all this time. I'm not sure whether to be mad at Amy for using me to trigger that booby trap or if I should be grateful for her since she inadvertently freed me from that robot.

* * *

Alejandro finally hit the ground, feet first, and the contestants continued to look in shock. Lindsay was the first one to speak up. "Jalapeno? Is that really you?" she asked. "No, Lindsay. It's the King of England," Amy said sarcastically before yelling, "Of course it's Alejandro, you dimwitted loon!" As soon as he said that, however, he fell over.

* * *

 **Alejandro** : I was trapped in that suit for who knows how long! So long, in fact, that my legs have gone numb. [tries shaking his right leg] Wakey-wakey… nothing.

* * *

Fortunately, Alejandro was able to handstand his way back over to his team. Is there a thing he can't do? Courtney and Sammy helped him up to their team's platform so that he can help Dakota and Topher build. There's still the matter of that last piece though. But that wouldn't matter as the Brainiac Buzzards have already finished assembling their statuette of Liberty. All eight members cheered as it became apparent that they won.

* * *

 **Heather** : Alejandro's back. So what? My team still won regardless. It's not like I was distract―WE! We weren't distracted by his sudden return… and his sculpted abs, and his… off voice.

* * *

The other two teams stopped in disappointment, knowing that they have lost. All of them, however, snapped out of it when Chris blew his air horn. "Hello! Second place is still available…! Move it!" And with that, the contestants were back in gear, each still searching for that last piece. When dusk was almost upon them, finally someone found the last piece that they needed. "YES!" Amy cheered as she held the last white statuette piece. "Damn, damn, damn, damn, DAMN!" shouted Shawn as his team nearly dug their entire section of the beach up desperately searching for that last piece. Alas, all hope was lost when the Beautiful Butterflies completed their statuette of the Eiffel Tower. All that was missing from the Sphinx of the Brawny Buffalos was the nose. No. The entire head.

"And the Beautiful Butterflies secure second place. Woo-hoo…" Chris announced unenthused as that respective team cheered. "Brawny Buffalos…what happened?" The mostly-brawn team collapsed from exhaustion. They were not in the mood to admit last place… again. "Well, as for the Brainiacs, sure, you didn't win the Spa Hotel last time, but how about a trip to New York for a night on the town?!" And with that, the Buzzards cheered. "Trust me, there's something in it for all of you. Now, go before I die of being too nice!" Chris shouted as he truly believed that being this nice would kill him. He overdramatically collapsed and pretended not to be able to breathe as all just stared at this sad, pathetic man.

* * *

 **Duncan** : I'm sorry, but McLean's gotta be the absolute saddest man on Earth right now. [chuckles] And I find it hilarious!

 **Max** : Success! [maniacal laughter, then pauses as he hears someone laughing with him]  
 **Izzy** : [sitting on Max's shoulders] Muahahahahaha! … What?

* * *

After the challenge, Dawn kept her promise to talk about the goodness of recycling and the evil of littering to Amy. Much to Amy's dismay, Dawn did not confront her alone. A bunch of animals had followed Dawn and were glaring at Amy too. Under threat by a few skunks of being sprayed with their rancid chemicals if she tried to run, Amy had no choice but to listen to Dawn and try to hold her temper.

"So, Amy, what did we learn today?" Dawn asked. Amy groaned and answered, "That littering is bad for the environment and if I want my children's children to live in it, I should be more cautious." Dawn pleasantly smiled. "Very good… I see your aura's already this lovely green… though it could just be from the jealousy you have of your sister," Dawn theorized, causing Amy to get defensive. "Why would I be jealous of my sister? She's inferior to me!"

Meanwhile, Sammy and Jasmine were watching all that with an amused look on their faces. "I'm just glad you're able to hold out. Nice trick with the shirt, by the way," Jasmine complimented. "Thanks… sorry for the loss though," Sammy apologized. "Who do you think's going home?" Jasmine sighed. "I don't know, really. None of us screwed up badly enough in the challenge to be completely responsible for our loss. Thus, it's a tough call." she answered. "Though I'm worried about Shawn though… he and Tyler kinda had a spat."

"I regret to remind you that his conflict with Tyler is a very mild problem for Shawn's chances of staying in the game long compared to the fact that he made it to the finale last season. That fact alone can convince everyone that he's the biggest threat and must be voted off ASAP," Sammy reminded Jasmine, causing the latter to sigh. "B-bu-but who knows? Maybe he'll be safe…?" Sammy suggested in an attempt to cheer up her best friend.

* * *

 **Jasmine** : Oh crap, she's right. But then again, not a single past finalist in the previous seasons has gotten last place in the next season they competed in. [sigh] Let's just hope history repeats itself.

 **Sammy** : Me and my big mouth.

* * *

Soon enough the Brawny Buffalos were making their way to the new and improved Bonfire center. Instead of short stumps, there were logs arranged in a semicircle, with enough room to fit all twenty-four contestants. In between each log was a tall torch with small fires on top of each, brightening up the location even further on this dark night. Also added was a proper podium with Chris' shameless grin plastered on the front. Out of all of the changes, this was one Chris liked the most and the contestants liked the least. For one of them, however, this will be their only time seeing it.

"Welcome, Brawny Buffalos, to your first elimination ceremony," Chris introduced. "Since you've all been here before, I need not explain the rules to you. However, I will have to explain rules for the team good enough to not be in your shoes tonight, but not good enough for first place." He then gestured to the bleachers behind the losing team. Sitting in there were the entirety of the Beautiful Butterflies team, Alejandro included. "Yeah, Chris. Why are we here?" Dakota asked.

"Well, two things. One, the second place team gets to watch someone from last place give someone the boot before going back to their quarters," Chris explained, causing a few members of both present teams to roll their eyes. "And two, I kinda neglected to mention the, let's call it 'special reward' for the team who did good enough to avoid elimination, but not good enough to win the prize. I'm going to need one of you to volunteer to claim this prize." At that, Amy immediately stepped up and walked over to Chris.

"That should definitely be me then. I was the one who rescued Al from the robot suit and _I_ was the one who got us our last piece," Amy bragged. Sammy immediately got up to rebut, but Chris promptly cut her off before she had the chance. "Very well, Amy. Your reward is a night in exile on Boney Island!" Chris announced, causing Amy to stammer before she could come up with a coherent response, "Wait… what?! How is that a reward?" Chris didn't answer, and instead allowed Chef Hatchet to carry her off to the Boat of Losers, waiting at the end of the Dock of Shame for old time sakes. "You'll see!" Chris shouted back at her before turning to the last place team.

"Now then, all eight of you have cast your votes, and I have seven marshmallows on my plate. You know the drill: if you don't receive a marshmallow, you are eliminated from the game," Chris explained. "When I call your name, collect your marshmallow. First, with zero votes, Duncan." Duncan immediately claimed his marshmallow before going back to his seat, smirking at his ex in the Peanut Gallery as he did so. "LeShawna and Brick, you two also have no votes." And with that, the two of them collected their marshmallows, leaving Jasmine, Jo, Scott, Shawn, and Tyler remaining on the chopping block.

"The following only have one vote each. Scott, Jo, and… Jasmine." Jasmine claimed her marshmallow, but then looked back at Shawn, as he was in the bottom two with Tyler. "Shawn, Tyler, this is the final marshmallow of the night. By one vote, the last contestant safe is…" Chris began, then went on with the dramatic pause that he loves to abuse so much. Can you blame him, though? The underscore that goes along with it is his ringtone. Soon enough, he had to get on with the program and give the last marshmallow away. "… Tyler."

Tyler sighed in relief, collecting the last marshmallow, leaving Shawn in a state of shock. "Wait, what?!" Chris just shrugged. "Them's the breaks, zombie boy," he answered. Shawn turned to his teammates and asked, "Why me? I'm not a useless competitor. I won last season." Duncan rolled his eyes and answered, "You just answered your own question, dude. Winners are the biggest threats and have to be gotten rid of quickly. So, see ya."

"No. This can't be happening," Jasmine said in dismay as she walked over to her eliminated boyfriend. Shawn gave his girlfriend a hug and said, "You've got to be strong for both of us. You can win this. I know you can." Jasmine smiled at that until she saw Shawn look at Chris with a nervous face. "So, Chris, how do the eliminated contestants leave the game this time?" Shawn asked. With a groan, Chris answered, "I'm glad you asked, Shawn. I WAS planning on introducing a new elimination device, like every season. It was gonna be awesome!" Chris answered as he led Shawn, as well as the remaining Buffalos to the Dock of Shame, where the familiar Boat of Losers awaits. "A giant toilet so I can flush down all eliminated contestants down…

"Unfortunately, due to my parole, and so I don't risk losing my funding, we had to go with the boring Boat of Losers. Yippee…!" Chris finished with an unenthused cheer. With one last hug from his girlfriend, Shawn boarded the boat and waved to his former team as the boat carries him away. Then the thought suddenly dawned on him: "Who's driving this…?" Shawn then looked towards the front of the boat where a scrawny driver, obviously not Chef, was operating. Then the figure turned, and Shawn screamed.

Meanwhile, Chris was laughing at the prank he pulled. "What? I've gotta have SOME fun!" Jasmine just glared and kicked him into the water. The rest of the team soon followed her back to their tent. Chris quickly came back up and parted his now wet hair away from his eyes, slicking it back so he can do his outro. "Well, we're down one freak, with twenty-three more to go! Will the Butterflies continue to narrowly avoid losing? How will Heather cope now that Al is back? And just what's awaiting Amy at Boney Island?" Chris asked. "Find out next time on _Total_! _Drama_! _All-Stars_!"


End file.
